Jim Tumbls.

lehighvalley:

Celtic Fest takes the proverbial “Fest Championship” amongs all the others that pop up around the Lehigh Valley each year.

WHY? Thanks for asking.

1. There are less people, which means there are less crowds for food, drink, porta potties, etc.

2. High school kids tend to stay away and don’t congregate on street corners as they do during Musikfest. Teenagers also have high shrill voices that scare people. And, they are always so freaking excited to see each other, it’s like, DUDE you were just in my homeroom like 7 hours ago.

3. The true purpose of Celtic Fest is to drink and eat. While many people do that at Musikfest, it’s not the main reason to go. Celtic Fest, on the other hand, makes you feel as though you are missing out if you’re not drinking out of a yardglass or slugging some warm whiskey or eating Haggis. MMMMM Haggis.

4. Girls dressed up in period costumes. Not THAT kind of period, like renessaince style clothing you sick person you.

5. Haggis eating contest. Haggis has sheep’s pluck in it, which is heart, liver and lungs. They add some minced onions, oatmeal, suet, spices and salt (this is all from wikipedia) then you boil it in the animal’s stomach for three hours. Instant YUMMY!

6. It’s only three days long. Which is better for those who work during the week (since they can actually park somewhere) and it’s better because you know you want to see everything when you go there rather than saying, “Eh, I’ll see it on Wednesday when there’s less people.”

7. They have dudes throwing telephone poles and dogs herding sheep.

8. They music is great. Sure, Musikfest easily beats Celtic in this area, but some of the Celtic Fest music is stuff you really don’t get to hear all the time. Definitely worth the effort to get there and check it out.

9. They have YARD glasses that you fill with beer and HANG AROUND YOUR NECK.

10. It’s not as hot. (What you thought I’d have some big finish?) It’s just better weather for being outside for an extended period of time. Sure, it’s rained a few years, but, fuck it, you’re supposed to be a Celtic and shit, so tough it up.