Jim Tumbls.

Dear John McCain...

A learned colleague wrote this gem…

Dear John,

I am not writing this to dump you.  Although you are not my first choice for President at this time,  partially due to your exhibited senior moment in which you chose a totally unqualified running mate,  I continue to hold you in reserve as my second choice.  I would, however, like to suggest that you dump Palin and choose me for your  funning mate. ( that was a typo, but it works).  The reasons follow:

1.  I am qualified.  I have executive experience.  I was the President of a homemaker’s club in Frederick County just 50 miles from Washington, DC.     I have been on the consistory of my Church.  I am the leader of  the Wednesday Weavers study group.  I could go on, but you get the picture.  I have experience in decision-making.  Now that I think of it, I have even taught  decision making.

2.  I am a Christian.  I belong to a church.   I do have a problem with people who call themselves Christian and then don’t  live their lives in a way which shows respect for others, so I don’t actually go to church anymore, but at least I’m not one of the “mean girls” which I fear your current choice is.  I’m guessing  Jesus would actually choose me over someone who asks us to believe she’s like a pit bull.   I’m more like a collie or maybe a Labrador retriever.

3.  I have been to other countries.  On three of the trips  I traveled and sang with a Christian choir with the purpose of sharing the joy of Christ.  That should go well with the evangelists, don’t you think?  Those were trips to Austria, Italy and most recently to Prague in the Czech Republic.  In addition, I have traveled to Ireland and Scotland with a friend.  I know those trips created international goodwill as in both cases, we were able to get “Deep in the Heart of Texas” sung by lots of patrons at pubs.  I have to be careful not to claim everyone in the pubs was singing, but I assure you there was lots of good will.

4.   I have also traveled to Spain and am scheduled to go again the end of this month  where I am creating the very best kind of international good will.  We have become personal friends with a Spanish family. In addition to just stepping foot on Spanish soil I actually attempt to speak the language.  I must admit there are times when  it is suggested we just use English, but  I certainly can ask for the location of the bathroom.  Donde esta el bano?   Oh, yes.  I’ve been to Canada.  Many times.

5.  I know energy.  I grew up in Sidney, Montana  which is located on the Bakkan Reserve.  I own land there.  I have no mineral rights,  so there is no conflict of interest with big oil companies, but I personally understand the environmental impact.  There was an oil well on my land and when it was dismantled, the company left a big mess there.  That’s why I fought having another oil well put on my land and won that battle.   I protect my country.  Yes, I do.

6.  I know about Russia.  I have read War and Peace, Anna Karenina, The Gulag Archipelago and One Day in the Life of Ivan Denosivich.   I like Russian music.  I have even played some on the piano.  My paternal   grandmother’s family emigrated from Russia, but just in case that’s a problem, they always called themselves German and she was born in the United States. 

7.  I understand economics.    I took an economics class in college and have a Bachelor of Science degree in Home Economics from the University of Montana.  I balance my checkbook.  I have taught Consumer Education classes.   I personally  have never earned even close to $100,000 a year and still  managed to retire in my 50’s.

8.  I have never had an abortion.

9.  I am not so self absorbed that I think I have to continue to impress you with my qualification.

Pick me.  Dump the mean girl.